People gossip for all kinds of reasons: as a way to connect, to get caught up with news, to work things out for themselves, to understand and/or debate what’s going on in their minds about that particular person or subject, or to just pass the time. No matter the reason, ultimately, gossip can be destructive to a relationship (or cause) and even one’s own peace of mind as the person or group you’re gossiping to starts to form opinions and judgments about the topic at hand. And God forbid if you ever bump into the person you gossiped about! The challenge then becomes who do you believe? The person speaking to you directly, or what you heard from another source? Some may even side with you to “support” you in your cause (either for or against). The most destructive part of gossip is when it spreads like an epidemic and then everyone’s up in arms and defensive about what just happened or it becomes a philosophy or way of life. In our society, I know that everyone does it and it’s accepted as a normal part of everyday life. Yet, deep in our hearts while we are gossiping about so and so, we can feel it’s not right. Yet, we can’t help but continue to do so. It’s almost as if we’re compelled to continue until we come to some resolution, which never comes. So why do we do it if the yield is nothing but conflict and guilt?
I would subscribe that the reason we continue to take part and spread gossip is because we allow our minds to lead the way in our relationship and our discussion. When we do so, it’s like being dropped in a maze that has no exit and one is left trying to figure out how to get out of this one unscathed?
The only way to get out of this maze is to stop and get back in touch with that place where knowing originates: your heart. Your heart sees clearly what’s what and can lead you back to that place of peace where knowing resides. In this place, there is no need to gossip because you already know what the answer is and you even know what action to take You don’t need someone else’s acknowledgement or permission for what you know. There is also no judgment in this place. The only thing you need do is to stand behind that feeling of knowing without having to make an issue of it because there’s nothing to defend or protect. The fastest way to transmute gossip or the need to gossip is to take action in your life towards what you want to create or change to better your circumstances, engage in an artistic endeavour that brings you joy and happiness, or spend time in nature. Please feel free to leave a comment or email me directly.